iHave 5 Facts
by Ohime x3
Summary: Carly and Sam shared their 5 fun facts, now Sam unexpectedly shares 5 little facts on the opposite she harbors feelings for, and why she really acts the way she does. SEDDIE, now... dance! Chachacha!
1. Chapter 1: iHave 5 Facts

**Disclaimer: **Perhaps if I owned _iCarly_, I would change it to _iSam_, straight-perm Sam's hair, layer it and make her wear skinny jeans while Freddie (sweet, sweet Nathan) will turn into a perfect-hair obsessed kid. But I don't. Also, I don't own Billy Iketani from _Beauty Pop._ I don't think I own any character mentioned here. Oh yes.

**Warning: **The beginning, or introduction shall I say, is a little long. I am guessing it will take up this chapter.

"In 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 …"

"I'm Carly!"

"And I'm Sam!"

"So what does that mean again, Sam?" Carly looked at her best friend.

"That this is just some boring old website?"

"NOO! It means…"

"YOU'RE WATCHING iCarly!" The two shouted in unison.

"Okay, iCarly dwellers!" Sam chirped.

"Today we're having a surprise special," said Carly.

"And that's because today…" Sam said as Freddie cued on the drum rolls. "Carly and I will be telling you more about – who else better – ourselves!" A sound of applause went off. "Carly, you first."

"Okay, ICHI-BAN! (Japanese for 'one') My addiction is … flare jeans! Yes, I know skinny jeans are kind of the 'in thing' seeing as the 80's are coming back, but you got to admit, it's obvious. I'M A 90'S GIRL! Will be one forever!" Carly screamed as Freddie zoomed the camera to her flared denims. "'Kay, your turn Sam."

"Okaay. Florbeurschnaughger! My hair is un-straightenable. Did ya know? Check it out," Sam added as Freddie focused the camera on her long, golden locks. "Oh yeah, baby. It MUST be the ham."

"That's cool, Sam. But uhm … 'flor-beur-schnaugh-ger'?" Carly questioned with a look on her face.

"Yup, it's SAMenese for 'numbah one!'"

"Oh, okay then…" Carly mentioned as she and Sam squirmed to the camera. They shouted simultaneously.

"FLORBEURSCHNAUGHGER!" Then giggled the blonde and brunette.

"Okay, okay … NUMERO DOS! (Spanish for 'two' and so on) Okay, this is a little embarrassing, but … in the 6th grade I once got brace-locked when kissing Billy Iketani behind the Ridgeway school tree."

"Ouch," Sam pitched in.

"Wait a minute. That transfer kid from Japan that doesn't go here anymore? You _kissed_ him? Okay, that's it!" Freddie grunted.

"Aw, would you look at that." Sam pinched Freddie's cheeks. "Freddork's just jealous because Carly wont kiss him."

"You got a BIG MOUTH, lady! You—" Freddie was interrupted by Carly spraying them with water twice.

"Cool it, you two. We're still on."

"Right. Thank you, Carly." Freddie brushed himself off; stupidly knowing it wouldn't get off water. Sam just rolled her eyes.

"Fine… Florbeurschnaughger! Okay, I'll just get on with it." Sam took in a deep breath. "My second name is … mrfds …"

"What was that, Sam?" Freddie asked with a hint of a smirk. '_This is getting good.'_

"I said my middle name is Helena!"

"Ha! Who's the dork now!" Freddie laughed.

"Actually I like that name!" Sam protested. "Hey it's a song from _Our Chemical Romance_, too, you know!"

"Goodness, since this will clearly lead to nowhere, let us PLEASE move on." Carly finally stepped in. "Number … uhm … tatlo!"

"Tatlo?" Sam scratched her head.

"Yeah it's Filipino for 'three.' Anyway, here goes. I. Love. Ham! I'm so sorry Sam!"

"Gasp!" went Sam as she pulled out a random piece of ham from nowhere. She looked at it. "You're unfaithful."

"I'm so sorry." Carly hugged Sam as they both fake-cried.

"It's okay, Carly. One day, you'll know. I forgive you. Haha. Okay, on with number 3. Florbeurschnaughger!"

"Wait a sec. you've said that three times already. I thought it means 'one'?"

"Well Carly, it's SAMenese. It can mean anything. Take this! Pork chops … I florbeurschnaughger you! Yes I do." Carly let out a small chuckle at Sam's self-argument. "Anyhow, my third fact is that…" Sam gulped. "The only reason I like football is … because … I love Colt Brennan!" She squealed. "Just take that jersey off, already!"

"Oh god, he's hot!" Carly peeped in.

"Like, who doesn't think that?" Sam said, sassily.

"Nay!" Freddie said rather sarcastically.

"Yeah well you have no say." Sam shot him a dirty look.

"Bite me." He bit back.

"Let's just share this fact. Go Colt Brennan! You did a good job on the Warrior's team, by the way." Carly cut in. "Eha! That's four in Hawaiian." She took a glimpse at Sam who was still glaring at Freddie. "Fourth fact about Carly. Me, myself, and I. My favorite flavor is (dum-dum-dum!) apple! Apple lip-gloss, apple lollipops, and even those wax apples they use for paintings! (Washington Apples!) Yum!"

"Nice one Carls. Well … What about me, hm … Okay florbeurschnaughger four! About Puckett comma Sam! Backwards, my name is AHTNAMAS! And if you turn 'Sam' upside down with a certain font, it says 'Wes.' Isn't that totally awesome?" Carly giggled.

"Okay viewers. We're down to the final of the segment. Our last fact-o! Number fiiive! Crush time! Long ago, I had a hee-uge crush on … Kermit the Frog. Yes, viewers. I had a green fetish." Carly pouted.

"No it's actually cute. I kinda think—"

"Sam, please don't say 'ham is cute.'"

"Darn."

"Okay, your turn!"

"Florbeurschnaughger five! I … have a major crush on … Nathan Kress! Oh my god!" Sam confessed.

"…Well… He's not really my type, but okay. This is a shout-out to Sam's favorite actor…"

"NATHAN KRESS!" They, yet again, exclaimed together.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Freddie hushed. "That nub actor?"

"Yeah have you _seen_ him? He is GORGEOUS!" Sam continued yelling like a girly-girl.

"Yeah. He's okay. Che!" Freddie frowned.

"Okay, that's all for now, iCarly fans!" Carly said.

"Thanks for watching!" Sam waved.

"I'm Shay."

"I'm still Sam. And how exactly would you remember that?"

"By going to iCarly dot com!" Carly gestured.

"5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … and we're clear! Good show, Carly!" Freddie praised.

"What about me?" Sam's anger boiled.

"Nyeh!" Freddie commented emptily.

"Geez, dweeb." Sam's stomach growled. "Hey Carly, I'm hungry."

"You guys want to go get a juice spritzer downstairs? I have bendy straws," Carly persuaded with a smile.

"But…" A distinct look appeared upon Sam's flawless face. "It's all the way downstairs. And that show was pre-tty tiring." She looked at Freddie, giving him hints.

"Fine you sneaky punk! I'll get it!" Freddie rolled his eyes. He left to go with Carly as they took the elevator.

In the meantime, Sam was doing some thinking. Lately, she's been doing this a lot. It's scaring even myself. (xD) Suddenly, she saw Freddie's camera light still blinking red. But what was it? Since Sam truly didn't know, and honestly didn't care, she decided to leave it be.

Anyway, about the thinking. People have been constantly asking her. Seething into her life, and her opinions. All sinking within and beneath her skin.

(SAM'S POV)

But what was the real reason I have a tough outside? Everyone kept, repeatedly, asking what was really wrong.

"_Are you abused by drunk parents?"_ No.

"_Do you really, actually hate anyone in particular?"_ No.

"_Is it because you secretly hide the fact the you're filthy, stinken' rich but are still miserable?"_ Oh, god. Hell no!

'Well fine then. Until Carly and Freddie come back, I'll sit on this stupid bean bag chair. Wait, I take that back. Beanie chairs are never stupid, they're awesome. Sorry beanie chair!_' _Sam thought, and then plopped down as her thoughts drowned her even more.

The real reason … is him.

(END SAM'S POV)

MEANWHILE

"Hey Freddie." Carly put down her juice bottle as she looked at iCarly's homepage. "I think you … forgot to turn off the camera."

"Huh?" Freddie looked at the computer screen to see Sam with such a different face on, slumped on top of a bean bag sack-thing. "What is she doing? Why does she look so sad? Is she hungry? C'mon let's go turn it off—"

"Shh! Just wait…" Carly shushed him signaling that she knew something was up. Suddenly they heard Sam talking to herself. Freddie raised an eyebrow.

"What is … Sam saying?"

**A/N: **Okay that's chapter one. Please tell you at least enjoyed it! Yes, it was quite long for a start but I promise it will get better. Anyway, thank you.

**Please REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2: iLike Your Eyes

**A/N: Hey sorry it's been a while. But thank you I had no clue this story would be a hit since I had not gotten so many reviews for a first chapter before. But I just finished watching **_**iGo To Japan**_**. Yay, Japanese pride. Anyway, I was a little upset at how much Carly/Freddie moments there were. Anyhow, I want no confusion so I am going to make ****'IN THE KITCHEN' scenes in underlining****, even though it might make my story look messy. So I will try to dominantly fixate it on Sam, okay? Slight OOC.**

'_But what was the real reason I have a tough outside? Everyone kept, repeatedly, asking what was really wrong._

_The real reason… is him.'_

_--_

"_Hey Freddie." Carly put down her juice bottle as she looked at iCarly's homepage. "I think you… forgot to turn off the camera."_

"_Huh?" Freddie looked at the computer screen to see Sam with such a different face on, slumped on top of a beanbag sack-thing. "What is she doing? Why does she look so sad? Is she hungry? C'mon let's go turn it off—"_

"_Shh! Just wait…" Carly shushed him signaling that she knew something was up. Suddenly they heard Sam talking to herself. Freddie raised an eyebrow._

"_What is… Sam saying?"_

Sam mumbled things for a while.

"Geez, why isn't this easy like… Canadian bacon. You got your ham, call it 'bacon,' done. Easy as pie." Sam pouted at her food metaphors. The blinking camera just stared at her. Darting her. Mocking her.

Carly laughed.

"I don't get it. What is she saying, Car—" Carly shoved a banana into Freddie's big mouth.

"Shut up, will you?" Carly smirked as she turned her head back at the monitor. "Show him, Sam."

"What should, what _would_ I say to that annoying dweeb?" Sam questioned herself. "I'd tell him five facts."

"Who is she talking about?" Freddie whispered.

"Fred-die!" Carly groaned.

"Do you even know—" Freddie started.

"Shut up." Carly interrupted. "Just listen."

"Fact One: I like your eyes. Your gorgeous, chestnut, ignorant eyes. Such pretty eyes… wouldn't ever fixate on me. They focus on the pretty smart girl with the slighter darker hair than yourself."

"Why is she talking in two-person?"

"Freddie, SHUT UP AMD LISTEN!"

"Why should I?"

"Please? For me?" Carly tried to look cute though she was getting restless with him. She ever thought Sam would do it this way, even though Sam never really admitted it to Carly herself. But Carly's smart. She already knew.

"You know… You may never know this, but… your pretty eyes twinkle. They sparkle and compare to no star. They shine like… like bright red cherries on summer days. Mm, cherries… I florbeurschnauger cherries…" Sam gazed and went off track. But she then tuned back in. "Like, fresh cherries covered with chocolate. A deep chocolate like your eyes." Sam paced to the other end of the room.

"Honestly, I never really understood boys. Like, why and how they act the way they do. It's probably just your species." She brushed off. "But, really. I just look in their eyes. Their eyes explain everything. Take old Gibby for example. His eyes represent fear, so I bring him fear. And Rip-off Rodney, his eyes detail nonchalance, so I'm cool with him. But you…

You're an unfaithful, ignorant little nub who eats too little. But still. You're the only boy, who would ever… ever look me directly in the eye. Directly. Only You. You didn't see right through me like anyone else, you saw me and only me. You saw me with… your mesmerizing chestnut eyes.

When we're just talking, your eyes are okay. But when we argue, it's like they just pop! …You know what I mean? They hypnotize me like how a lollipop lures a little kid. Well… that lures me too, but still."

Carly chuckled as she nudged Freddie who was still awkwardly in awe.

Sam walked back toward the camera.

"You never pitied me like the other fools. I was never abused. I never cried; I never had man-made bruises; and I never complained about my mom other than that she did not like feeding me. I was never filthy rich either. If I was, my eyes would have dollar signs on them; I wouldn't have had to pay you and Carly back; and I sure as heck wouldn't make our web-casts at Carly's every single week. But also… they're kind of, sorta… turn-on-ish." Sam blushed.

Carly smiled. She looked at Freddie.

"Is she… talking about… me?" He helplessly pointed at his own chest.

Carly nodded, silently laughing.

"Of course, stupid."

"Goodness… I just can't stop staring at them. I couldn't forgive that stupid Valerie punk. She stole your precious eyes. But ha! You couldn't tell, could you? That I was jealous. Neither you can with Carly. But I promise you, Freddork. Your eyes were meant to meet mine, I swear."

Freddie and Carly looked at each other, then back at the screen.

"Your deep, gorgeous, hypnotizing, _oblivious, _chocolate eyes. I like them." Sam finally smiled. "End of Fact One."

**A/N: Sorry if it was too short. I will try to make the next chapter longer alright? I just wanted to share his. It is a random opinion of how I think **_**iCarly**_** pairings differ.**

_Seddie_- Usually exactly how it is on the show, but most fanfic authors leave out Carly

_Creddie_- No Sam/ Freddie interaction. No fights, not even a conversation

_Spam_- I haven't seen this too often so I don't know

_Cam_- Freddie is rarely even in it

_Frencer_- No comment

**Arigato. PLEASE REVIEW, there is a new button!**


	3. Chapter 3: iLike Your Guy liness

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for your awesome feedback! Sorry for the late update. Here goes Chapter 3… Slight OOC.**

"_Is she… talking about… me?" He helplessly pointed at his own chest._

_Carly nodded, silently laughing._

"_Of course, stupid."_

"_Goodness… I just can't stop staring at them. I couldn't forgive that stupid Valerie punk. She stole your precious eyes. But ha! You couldn't tell, could you? That I was jealous. Neither you can with Carly. But I promise you, Freddork. Your eyes were meant to meet mine, I swear."_

_Freddie and Carly looked at each other, then back at the screen._

"_Your deep, gorgeous, hypnotizing, __oblivious, __chocolate eyes. I like them." Sam finally smiled. "End of Fact One."_

"Fact? What fact? That was a fact?" Freddie hesitated. He was, ahem, 'speechless.' Whatever 'speechless' meant… to him.

Sam looked into the camera lens. '_As if I were to actually say this…_' She laughed on the inside.

"Fact Two: I like your… Guy-liness."

'_The hell?_' Carly thought, twittering.

"Guy-liness?" Freddie raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, guy-liness." Sam simpered. "I love how you try to act all tough, but really, inside you are just plain sensitive. And no, not 'cry baby' sensitive. Sensitive as in how deep you are; how caring you are. It's… lethally appealing." She blushed a bit.

You could tell Freddie's face was a little pinkish, too.

'_And how the heck did she know those words!?_' Carly thought.

"D-Darn you. Darn you and your guy-liness. You know what? I bet you're not even as tasty as chicken nuggets with that barbecue sauce, anyway." Sam protested. "But still… no matter how many times I've hurt you, or tormented you… you never see it coming. I don't whether to **hit** you for pretending or **smack** you for falling for it again unknowingly."

"Wow, I honestly hadn't realized that." Carly gave Freddie a weird look. "Do you really?" Freddie gave her the same look back.

"Do I really… what?" Freddie said, even more confused than he was ten seconds ago.

"Do you really fake it? Right before she hurts you?" She smiled. Freddie mulled it over.

"…She might as well smack me."

"Then again, you fall right back into place by laying it off like it's cool. You might as well wear a sign around your neck saying 'I'm Freddie. I'm cool and that's how cool people roll, aiight'?' I mean, all them viewers don't know what I be saying, nawmeen?"

For the first time, Freddie laughed. Carly slightly grinned as she saw his big smile and the flicker in his eyes.

"Honestly, Fredward. Who in the world would LIKE you? You're a psychotic, Carly-crazed, mama-dressed, pig-headed boy." Sam crossed her arms as she then sighed. "No one would like you. No one… except me."

"Sh-Should I take this as an insult or a compliment?" Freddie questioned, still focused on the monitor.

"Shh." Well, Carly was sure into this. 

"Now, I bet you're wondering what the heck guy-liness means. Well it can really mean anything. But only if you give it a meaning." She pondered. "Guy-liness. (gî•lê•nës) _Noun. Adjective. _(n.) Fredward Benson (adj.) Fredward Benson. e.g_. hey, it's Fredward Benson_!"

"Ha ha ha!" Carly laugh out loud.

"Frankly, you'd be the only around here that's guy-ly enough for me. Well if you don't count Robert Pattinson… but that's beside the point. And you know what else? I don't mind. I wouldn't ever mind." She thought for a moment. Sam quickly put her hands over her face. "Oh god, _please_ do NOT make me the 'guy' here, right now…" She restrained her hands.

Freddie was still in a puzzle. A rock-hard, constellation-like, 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. '_I-I like Carly… right?_' He clutched his chest. '_So what is this?'_

"No no no. Don't you dare. Don't you dare EVER ask me why, why I like you so much." Sam shook her finger. "…Because it'd take hours and hours for me to explain. Reason after reason, fact after fact, word by word." Her eyes widened. "And since when did have such a wide and deep vocabulary!?"

"That's exactly the-!" Freddie pointed at the screen.

"-Same thing I was wondering!"

"Wait, shh!" Freddie was getting the hang of this. Carly smirked as she put her hands on her hips jokingly.

'_If I like Carly… why am I not appalled by this?_' He self inquired. _'I'm not REALLY okay with this… am I? …What is this?_'

"Because. You're the ham to my bacon, the Ron to my Hermione, the home-skillet to my biscuit, the flash to my camera, the Edward to my Bella, the Romeo to my Juliet… the guy-liness to my girly-ness." Her beam was yet again visible. "End of Fact Two."

**A/N: Again, so sorry for this late update. Not making any promises for the next chapter since I have been really busy lately cramming. Also, I have been doing some thinking and the poll on my profile is still open, so please help me out here by voting. Seriously I am desperate. Thank you!**

**AZA AZA FIGHTING! Review please.**


	4. Chapter 4: iPlay with You Like a Puppet

**A/N:** Sorry for this uber-late update. (It was a year and five days!) Are you humungo mad at me?

"_Because. You're the ham to my bacon, the Ron to my Hermione, the flash to my camera, the Edward to my Bella, the Romeo to my Juliet … the guy-liness to my girly-ness." Her beam was yet again visible. "End of Fact Two."_

"Freddie, let's face it. We all know the truth. You let me do whatever I want to you." Sam smirked. "I get to play with you like a doll.

"You sure are the stupid one for letting someone hit you, aren't you? You're the Barbie doll I never had. I'd never play with any other Barbie doll." Sam smiled. She thought of all the memories she had that, to her, was funny, but to Freddie – well, let's put it this way: they scarred him for life.

"Did she have to say that?" Freddie said as Carly laughed.

"When do you think she'll realize she's caught on the camera?" Freddie shrugged. He presumed.

"Even when you know what I'm going to do, you just let it happen, which surprises me. And no matter what I do, you always forgive me. I know any other boy would be sending my butt to juvie right now."

It got awkwardly quiet before Sam spoke again.

"I really wish it would be easier to show you my feelings, I really do, but." Sam didn't get to finish her sentence. Why? Her phone went off.

"RA RA AH-AH-AH, RO MA RO-MA MA, GA GA OU LA LA," went her phone. "Want your bad text message."

Freddie laughed.

Sam stared straight ahead, directly at the wall looking peeved. "You just had to do it, didn't you, Benson? You just had to."

Freddie laughed some more. Carly had a look of incredulity on her face. Her intention was to text Sam, causing Sam to stop talking and come downstairs. As odd as it sounds … she sort of wanted to disappoint Freddie – er, Freddie to be disappointed. There was a big difference between the two after all. Of course, as _predictable_ as she is, she tried to cover things up and sent another text message. Just as how any "good girl" would do.

It's not that Carly's jealous of Sam, she really isn't. And she doesn't like Freddie, either. (I MEAN, EW.) She pictured herself with Freddie and tried as hard as she could to forget about even forgetting about it because she wished she hadn't thought of it at all in the first place. To add emphasis she added another ew. CARLY AND FREDDIE: EWW!

Sam looked at her blinking phone.

***2* Unread Messages ~**

She opened the last one sent.

_**From**_**: Carly is cooler than Sam [;**

_**Time**_**: 11:56 PM**

_**Message**_**: I know you like him.**

Sam stared with at the phone, her jaw about to fall off. '_I _never_ told Carly a thing. Ever!'_ She closed her phone. She didn't reply.

"Freddie."

"Hm?" Freddie was surprised, because for the last seven seconds he hadn't been paying any attention to the screen. Instead he wondered why Sam received a text message just seconds after Carly had picked up her phone.

"I bet I can guess what you're thinking."

"Okay, Miss Puckett. Shoot."

"You're thinking 'She can have anyone as a doll. Anyone. (Sammie-girl is very aggressive.) But still, she chooses Freddie. Little Freddie Benson.' That's what you were thinking."

Actually, Freddie was too drawn away to even think of anything at the moment.

"I could have chosen Carly. Pretty, pret-ty Carly. So girly, so delicate, and ever so smart. She reminds me of an actual Barbie doll. She can do anything. I mean, I love Carly," Sam uttered, "but that's no fun, now is it?

"I could have just gone down to any store and swiped a Barbie doll. But here's a secret: I don't like Barbie dolls."

"She's not lying," Carly spoke, her eyes still focused on her magazine. "I once watched her bite the head off one of mine when we were little."

Freddie couldn't pout. He just couldn't. All he could do was laugh – laugh at her insanity.

"Then there's Gibby. Ah, Gibby. Didn't I already bring up that twinkie's name?" Sam pondered. "I guess he'd do, too, but every time I push him too far he goes all nutszo and it takes him for-_ever_ too cool down. Like, almost a week!"

Freddie laughed at Insane Girl. First, she put air quotes around "nutszo". (She could have said "berserk," which bothers him for some reason. Perhaps it was because "nutszo" wasn't an actual word.) Then she goes and puts a great big emphasis on the simple-to-say word "forever".

Needless to say … WORDS BOTHER FREDDIE BENSON. 

…They do.

"Oh yeah! Before I forget to say this — Actually, I already forgot to say this. You downloaded that stupid text alert-tone on my phone, even after I spent a whole two-and-a-half minutes explaining why I hate that song," Sam said sarcastically. She beamed. "Oh, you'll pay."

"I told you, didn't I? I'm not your puppet." She laid her head back. "You're mine."

But maybe – just maybe – Samantha Puckett's words just don't bother Freddie at all.

"Ah…" Freddie didn't mean to say that out loud. He meant to think it. He also meant to think 'A deranged girl is in love with me … and I think I'm all right with it."

"End of Fact Three."

**A/N:** Hello there. I know, I know, don't remind me. The underlining is bothering me, too. So I tried to take them out, but then it was confusing, so I put them back in, and, well, let's leave it alone for now. It's getting hungry and I've no beef jerky.

**Please review. I love you, I really do.**


	5. Chapter 5: iHate How We're Just Friends

**A/N:** This chapter is a lot different from the last ones. It's not so much comedic as it is deep. Sam's feelings are really coming out in this one.

Reply to **Mikeyismine:** Yes, I am, indeed, aware that it is *My Chemical Romance. I just changed it. Why? I danno. Hee. (:

One little note: I wrote this chapter for _iSaved Your Life_. I haven't watched it yet (of course, unless there's a website allowing people access to previews), but I'm doing a little guessing – 'cause that's what's _FanFiction_ is for. And even though Carly and Freddie went upstairs, their conversation is still underlined because they're not exactly talking _to_ Sam. They be gossiping about her. [;

--

"_I told you, didn't I? I'm not your puppet." She laid her head back. "You're mine."_

_But maybe – just maybe – Samantha Puckett's words just don't bother Freddie at all._

"_Ah…" Freddie didn't mean to say that out loud. He meant to think it. He also meant to think 'A deranged girl is in love with me…and I think I'm alright with it."_

"_End of Fact Three."_

Sam took a short break up in the studio. She started playing with her hair.

Carly noticed how Freddie looked uneasy.

"What's wrong?" Carly asked.

"Listen to Sam! This is _supposedly_ private. She thinks she's talking to _herself_!" Freddie said before he turned off the monitor.

"But—"

"But what, Carly? You know I like you, don't you? I'd do anything for you," Freddie moved closer to her. He attempted to even … kiss her.

"Freddie!"

"Carly…"

"I – I can't hurt Sam…," Carly uttered. She took a hold of his shoulders. "I'm sorry, Freddie, but Sam really …. She really cares about you, Freddie."

"I love you, Carly."

Carly grabbed her jacket and left.

"Great. Just…" Freddie ran his fingers through his hair. He turned the monitor back on and saw Sam gone. "…great." _'Where the heck is she?'_

Carly walked back into the room. "Okay, Freddie. If I can't show you, Sam will. Turn the computer off."

"Sam's gone!" Freddie cried out.

"No, she isn't. Just come." Freddie followed Carly upstairs. _'Maybe we really aren't meant to be .… Oh, shut up, Freddie.'_ Freddie thought. "You know, I'm really disappointed in you. I thought you were more open-minded than that." They creaked open the studio just a bit, so they could hear Sam.

"Sigh … And now I'll never have you. Because you two grew up together. 'Cause you saved her life, and now you two'll fall in love, and you'll finally have what you've always wanted; you two make the perfect couple."

"It hurts me she feels that way," Carly whispered. "I love Sam; She's like my very own sister. And it hurts me that she's … she's angry with me. She envies me. Because of you."

"Well, I already kissed her!"

"And so? That means nothing if you didn't mean it. It _was_ just to get it over with, wasn't it? You have no common sense. Words are just explanations to you. Can't you see past that? Freddie," Carly looked at him through her long, thin lashes. "Sam's really good at hiding her feelings."

Freddie said nothing.

"Well?"

"You're beautiful and smart. You care about others so much. That's why I love you." That's what Freddie said. _That_ is what Freddie said.

Carly shook her head. She got up from her squat-position, went downstairs and left.

This time she never came back.

"I hate how much you love her. I can't believe I'm actually admitting this, but I'm jealous of her. Sure, I admit, you'd do the same for me if I were in trouble like that. But it's only because we're friends. Because we're friends." Sam's head lowered. "Just friends.

"It's really … really hard for me to … show my feelings." Freddie could see Sam through the door's glass. Something strange happened. Sam's leg twisted inward. And for that moment, to Fredward Benson, Sam looked very, very cute.

"I know you wouldn't like her just because she's pretty, because Carly _is_ every boy's ideal girl. Then there's me: tough, mean, and intimidating Sam Puckett. I might as well be every boy's worst nightmare. I know that would hurt less than meaning nothing to you."

For that second, Freddie watched those words come right out of Sam's lips. He watched her lips curl and pout. "I can't believe she just said that."

"Boy, am I stupid for liking you, huh?" The sparkle in Sam's eyes had faded. "The moment I started loving you was the very moment I knew I couldn't have you."

'_It's just not normal, seeing Sam like this. I never knew she was this deep. Please tell me I'm dreaming.'_

"I can't have you, because we're friends." Sam sat up. "_Just_ friends. End of Fact Four."

**A/N:** I'm sorry, but I honestly don't think Carly is very pretty. Can't _Nickelodeon_ see? Sam and Freddie belong together, dude.

**Please review, they're sexy. You're sexy.**


	6. Chapter 6: iLove You, Fried Chicken

**Edit:** Sorry, I had some issues with this chapter so I edited it.

**A/N:** I apologize for the short last chapter.

"_I know you wouldn't like her just because she's pretty, because Carly is every boy's ideal girl. Then there's me: tough, mean, and intimidating Sam Puckett. I might as well be every boy's worst nightmare. I know that would hurt less than meaning nothing to you."_

_For that second, Freddie watched those words come right out of Sam's lips. He watched her lips curl and pout. "I can't believe she just said that."_

"_Boy, am I stupid for liking you, huh?" The sparkle in Sam's eyes had faded. "The moment I started loving you was the very moment I knew I couldn't have you."_

'_It's just not normal, seeing Sam like this. I never knew she was this deep. Please tell me I'm dreaming.'_

"_I can't have you, because we're friends." Sam sat up. "Just friends. End of Fact Four."_

Sam stood up. "And for the special finale, the one we've all been waiting for. Da-da-dum~!"

Freddie chuckled.

"I've always been told, to say what you think … to say what you feel. Obviously that's not coming from me, right?

"Well, I guess it's a no-brainer what my last fact is. I do now have enough courage-whatever to say, I love you, Fr—"

Sam heard clapping come from behind her. She had never been so shocked in her life.

"—Fried chicken." She turned around.

"This is a nerd-free zone. What are you doing here?"

"I heard."

Sam froze. She suddenly regrets pouring her heart out to herself in order to vent.

Neither of them spoke for a good three minutes, but to Sam, it felt like forever, except after that it can't be forever anymore. To her, the world had just ended.

"How much of it?"

"All of it."

As Sam was about ready to knock him out, hoping he'd forget, but he miraculously caught her fist with his palm. He brought his face close to hers and smirked. "Somebody has a crush on me."

"Thumbuddy has a cwush on me," Sam mocked.

"I never knew it'd be you who really cared about me."

"Yeah, well," said Sam. There was a short pause.

"'Well' what?" Freddie spoke.

"'Well what' what?"

"I don't know. I thought you'd finish it."

"Words really are just words to you, aren't they?"

"I've been told."

Sam tittered. Freddie didn't know she _could_ titter, but when she did, he liked it. He liked the sound of it. He liked everything about her little laugh.

"You are really stupid, Fredward Benson," said Sam before yet another awkward silence. Freddie slipped his hands into his pockets.

"So … what now?"

"'What now' what?"

"Come on, stop playing." Freddie took in a deep breath and said, "What's going to happen next?"

"Uh, I dunno…" Sam bit her bottom lip. "I guess we can't be friends anymore, can we?" She sighed.

"Why not?"

"I can't be friends with you now that you know."

"Know what?"

"You know."

"No, I don't," Freddie said, with a smug look on his face. Sam knew this look. "Say it, Puckett."

"No."

"Say it."

"Mm-mm." She shook her head.

"But I heard you say it! You said, 'I'm Samantha Puckett, and I love Freddie Benson.'" He leered.

"I never said that!"

"Said what?" Freddie cupped his hand around his ear.

"'I'm Samantha Puckett, and I love Freddie Benson!'" Sam chirped before realizing she should have caught on sooner.

"Ha! So you admit." He pointed his finger at her.

"Stupidly genius, but sly …. You're better than I thought, Benson," she whispered.

Freddie laughed. "Wanna know a secret?" Sam kept quiet. "Aw, c'mon."

"…Fine," Sam said before rolling her eyes. She kept a look of disappointment on to hide her bit of excitement. She did this so just in case he said anything she'd wish she hadn't heard, it wouldn't hurt as much. She closed her eyes.

"You have to come closer." Freddie's smile was full of smug.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me." Sam crossed her arms and did what he said.

Freddie laughed again. "Closer."

"You know, Fredward. Just because you know now doesn't mean I'm not Sam anymore."

"Okay, okay." Freddie moved closer toward her. He slipped his arm behind her neck and felt her hair. Sam felt a chill running up her spine and it reached her chest. There was a throbbing feeling. "I—"

Freddie stopped talking.

"Sam? Sam, why are you crying?" This time he laid both hands on either side of her face.

"I'm not crying."

"Sam, just because I know now doesn't mean I'm not Freddie. Why are you crying?"

"You can't…" was all Sam said before trailing off.

"Can't what?" Freddie asked.

"You just can't…," she said again.

"What, Sam? What _can't_ I do?" Freddie couldn't tell whether he was getting anxious or agitated. "Fly? Eat seventy-five slices of bacon? Wear thongs? …Oh, I'm pretty sure the last one you couldn't even _teach_ me how to do…"

Sam glared at him. "It isn't funny!"

"What's not funny? What I said or the fact that you're not telling what I can't do!"

"You _can't_ compare me to Carly! I'm not like her!" So this is what Sam has been trying to say all along. "I'm not mean to you because _I like you_. I pick on you because I'm _Sam_, and apparently, that's what Sam does."

"Sam—"

"I may not be girly like Carly, or smart or charming or nice or brunette-" Sam was cut off. Freddie put his hands over her mouth.

"Shut up, Sam!" Freddie raised his voice, almost yelling. "You keep yakking I never got to tell you my secret!"

Sam removed his hands from over her mouth. "Then what the ham is your freakin' secret!"

Freddie grinned. "You know how I had a crush on Carly?"

"Yeah?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Well," Freddie motioned, "Poof! … All gone."

Sam peered at him with a stupefied look. And there was Freddie, all smiley n' stuff. "_What_?"

"You ain't deaf, Puckett." He knocked on her head.

"I know I'm not deaf, Benson, shut your trap," Sam remarked. Her arms tangled one another. "Care to explain to Sammie?"

"Nope," Freddie sneered. Sam was about to clout the left side of his face until he, again, caught it.

"And when did you become so hand-eye coordinated?"

"Same time the voice got lower, too." Freddie looked so proud. Man, was he dorky when he looked proud. "Care to remind me how much you like _moi_?"

Sam shot Freddie such a dirty look it wouldn't be allowed to air on Nickelodeon. (_And Nickelodeon's the one that gets to say 'crap'! Darn it._)

"Chill, Sam, I'm kidding." Freddie was beginning to like Sam liking him. He got tease her and she wouldn't do anything about it.

"Okay," Sam said. "Now _you're_ the insane one."

"Well, that's good then. We'd make a pretty insane couple – theoretically speaking."

"Logically, theoretically, hypothetically, Cinderelly, umbrelly. Look, I've heard it all before. I watch T.V.; you and I you _that_."

"Nine years, one week, one day, four hours, and twenty-two seconds."

Sam had no comment. After non-stop talking on-screen, Sam sure was making up for it with her "uh"s, "um"s, and "…"s. Finally, Sam sighed and gave in. What could hurt her?

"What?" She said it as more of a disappointed, already-known answer, rather than a lingering question.

"That's how long I liked Carly."

Sam was about ready to kill him. "Wow, good for you." She turned around, "I'm hungry," hoping to walk away. Did Sam walk away? No, 'cause Freddie stopped her. Duh.

"Wait." He elongated the "a" part. "Fifty-seven minutes and thirty-eight seconds."

Sam waited for an answer. She didn't get one. She mouthed and motioned her arms in a _What!_.

"I watched you talk about me for fifty-seven minutes and thirty-eight seconds."

"And that's really supposed to make me feel any better?"

"I don't watch a computer screen for just any girl, you know." Freddie went on. "I don't just take punches, let you get away with pranks, and sit there and watch you send my cell phone to whatchamacallit. Not for just any girl.

"I also don't just," Freddie moved an inch closer to Sam, "_kiss_ any girl."

Sam struggled for the words to come out. "W-Well … No one's forcing you."

Freddie smiled. "You're right."

Sam stared at him for a while before turning her attention to the ground.

"Sam?" Hearing Freddie's voice made Sam feel all chilly. It was different from how it was two minutes ago.

"Freddie?"

"Can I just hear you say it?" He looked at her through his brown eyes. His authority and protection and consideration were what made Sam make up a word like "guy-ly." Yet he's so soft and easy to control like a puppet. There was one thing separating Sam and Freddie and it was one thing only. They were just friends.

Sam gulped. She wondered if everyone else knew what to do when _they_ were asked this question.

"I…" If only Sam knew how anxious Freddie was to hear the answer. If only Freddie knew how anxious Sam was to hear her answer, too. "I love you … Freddie."

Suddenly the world crashed, touch-screen thingies were long gone, and the world was made up of only cardboard people.

Kidding. Sam opened her eyes. Freddie looked into her. No, his eyes weren't just laying on her; he was seeing her. Suddenly his hands moved, and the rest was just a blur. It's hard to concentrate, you know, when a boy places his hands on the sides of your face and places his lips right there on yours.

Sam realized, _This isn't so bad, after all._

Freddie smiled and said, "End of Fact Five."

**A/N:** OMG, did you like it? Sorry it took so long. I worked _really_ hard on this chapter. I really hope you liked it!

**Please review**


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